


One Way Or Another

by summerbutterfly



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Tabletop Gaming, Community: 7thnight_smut, Drag Queens, Explicit Language, Gen, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Other, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8309269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerbutterfly/pseuds/summerbutterfly
Summary: Santos is a writer. Gabriel is an actor. They have nothing in common, except for nerdiness, sarcasm, and some really good industry connections.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For Jenniebart, and the 2016 [ 7th Night Smut ](http://7thnight-smut.dreamwidth.org) exchange. Your comment is still the nicest thing I've read in forever. :)

First things first- L.A. smog, L.A. traffic, and L.A. people suck just as bad as everyone says they do, but L.A. itself, well...she tends to get a bad rap. She's not _that_ terrible. Kind of irritating sure, but not the worst. 

Don't get me wrong. L.A. is not a place for the faint of heart. Or the sensitive, or the unambitious (though we have plenty of both of those here). You gotta have your head on straight and your balls in the right place, and you can't be afraid to push your way into where you need to be. If you do that, L.A. can be great. I should know. I've been here 13 years and counting. 

They call me San. My real name is Santos Iglesia Gonzalez-Culpepper II, so you can see why I shortened it. Most people can barely pronounce 'tomato' correctly, never mind a name that sounds like a southern debutante ran off with a petty officer in the merchant marine. Which is exactly what happened, but we'll get to my parents later. Right now, there's more important things to discuss. Like my current job. 

I'm a writer. Once upon a time, I had aspirations to become the next J.D. Salinger, but then I realized I liked to eat. So I sold out. I took a job ghost writing, which turned into drafting scripts for C-grade TV movies, which turned into where I am now- head writer on the biggest daytime telanovela in the US. This isn't some 'big in Japan' shit. This is the real deal. We've had the highest Neilson ratings for our time slot for three years running. _Days of Our Lives_ hates us.

The feeling is mutual.

Anyway, my point in all this is that I may not love my job all day every day, but I'm damn good at it. Better than most. So when The Powers that Be decided the other morning to throw me the biggest curve ball I've ever been asked to hit, I immediately had a few words for them.

Mainly, "you've got to be fucking kidding me."

Neil, the guy in charge of everything and anything that didn't involve a corner office, looked at me with a faux-somber gaze and shook his head. "Sorry, San, but this what the execs want. The order was handed down to me from the toppest of top brass. My hands are tied."

"But I can't just introduce a new love interest for Maria mid season. That goes against any and all character development we've been trying to build for her since she recovered from her amnesia and realized she wasn't her twin Tina because she never had a twin in the first place!"

"I said, my hands are tied." Neil held out his wrists, as if to emphasize his already shitty point with even shittier visuals. "It's been decided, now you've got to write it. And if I were you, I'd get going."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"I mean they want the changes in two days."

I slammed my hand down on the conference table, hard enough to shake both our cellphones off the surface and onto the floor. "Two?" I repeated. "Two _days_?"

"Yes," Neil said. "And that's them being generous. They wanted it in one, but I told them they needed to be reasonable."

"So two is reasonable."

"It is to them."

"Unreal." I shook my head. "Absolutely unreal. Is this because of Sweeps? Or is someone pissed off at me again?"

"Someone's always pissed off at you, San. You have that kind of personality. However, no.  
This time you're not the cause. Nor are Sweeps. It's the bosses wife."

"Which one?"

"Boss or wife?"

"Wife."

"Oh." Neil's eyes slid away and I knew I wasn't going to like his answer. " It's um...Kandi. Kandi Bosson."

My upper lip curled. Kandi Bosson, arm candy to the uptight head of Media Relations and Marketing, was a pain in the ass. She was pushing 50, but she acted like she was 25, and had a compulsive tendency to try and ingratiate herself with anyone considered Young Hollywood. Getting a rewrite via _her_ meant she had her eye on someone.

I braced as I went in for more information.

"So who is it?" I asked. "Who's the flavor of the week?"

"Gabriel Delgado." 

"Excuse me?"

"Gabriel. Delgado," Neil repeated. 

At this point, there was nothing left to do but laugh. 

"Gabriel Delgado?" I sounded a little hysterical, even to my own ears. "Gabriel Delgado, the tabloid darling? El Chico Suave? Casanova 'I-Took-Off-My-Shirt-in-a-Beer-Commercial-and-Now-I'm-Famous' McNotalent?"

"I'm surprised you're so surprised." 

"I'm surprised because it's one thing to bring in guest stars, it's something else entirely to write in a new series regular who's guaranteed to bring down the quality my show!"

"Hey, you haven't even seen him work. How do you know he's that bad?"

"Because he used to be someone's _pool boy_ , Neil. How many Hollywood pool boys do you know that have two brain cells to rub together, never mind a modicum of acting talent?" 

Neil was about to reply, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Turning around, I realized Gabriel himself was here. In my building. Outside our conference room. 

I looked back at Neil with a deadly glare. "If this is an attempt to play on my sympathies by making me meet with him face-to-face, it's not going to work," I growled.

"It's not," Neil said. "We're doing his contract negotiation right after you and I finish, so his being here has nothing to do with you. Also, I'm well aware you have no sympathies, so why would I attempt to play on them?"

The door opened. Gabriel looked at the two of us, radiating all kinds of charm even though he was dressed as though he should be heading off to perform a racy pasodoble, and flashed a smile. 

"Should I come back?" he asked. "I don't want to interrupt."

"You're not interrupting. We're finished." Neil shot me a pointed look that clearly told me to get the fuck out, and gestured for Gabriel to sit down. "San has work to do, and I don't want to keep him any longer."

"Yeah, work," I said, standing. "I have to go figure out how not to let shitty outside influences ruin my show."

"San," Neil warned, but I ignored him, brushing past Gabriel like he wasn't even there. 

"See you later, Neil," I said. "If I don't quit first. If I do, I want my vacation time paid out in cash." 

"Revisions on my desk at 9 a.m. Thursday," Neil called after me. 

"Whatever," I muttered and, disappeared out the door.

***

I stopped by my office to pick up my laptop, and then took my leave from the broadcast building. I didn't do good work when I was angry and cooped up in corporate hell, and even though I hated this assignment with every fiber of my being, I wasn't about to turn in sub-quality work. So I did what any self-respecting writer does when in need of creative inspiration and a quiet place to compose. 

I headed down to my favorite drag cabaret for nachos.

"Sannieeeeee!" The owner, a queen who was known colloquially as Madame Butterfly, but preformed under the name of Kanon Con, was all smiles and feather boas when I came through the door. "Working today?" she asked. 

"Yeah. Got a last-minute re-write about an hour ago." I sat down at the bar with a sigh. "Last minute re-write, and they want it by Thursday. Dicks." 

"Uh oh." Kanon came over and leaned her elbows on the counter. "Sounds like trouble in the paradise of _El Leon Duerme_!"

"Trouble? Yes. But I don't know that I'd ever call working for this show a paradise." 

"Oh, come on. This is the longest you've stayed with something since I've known you."

"Which is what? Six months?"

"Very funny. See if I let you crash on my couch when your apartment is being fumigated ever again." Kanon flipped her hair. "No, but seriously. You trash so many pitches before you picked up this one. It has to have something you like."

"A good paycheck," I muttered.

Kanon sighed. "Fine, be a grump. What are you having? The usual? You're so bitchy when you're hangry, let's get you fed."

"Yeah, I'll take the usual. Extra cheese thought. And spice it up."

"You got it, kid." 

Kanon strutted off, yelling out my order to the kitchen as she went to get my favorite beer.

I opened my laptop. While it warmed up, I drummed my fingers on the bar, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to make this work. Nothing about this made sense, and I wasn't in the mood to try and make it make sense. But I couldn't bring myself _not_ to make it make sense. I also couldn't help but bitterly acknowledge that if Kandi hadn't butted her twice-reconstructed nose into things, I wouldn't even have to be worrying about this. All because of some stupid fleeting crush...

In the mist of my musings, Kanon returned, with a lollipop in her mouth, a beer in her hand, and a bowl of peanuts. "You know, you can totally do whatever you want with this," she said. "If you want to be absurd, be absurd."

"I haven't even told you what it is I have to write," I muttered, opening my _El Leon Duerme  
_ files.

"You don't have to. I can tell by your face that it's the content, not the deadline that's bothering you."

"Oh you can, can you?"

"Yes, I can. You think you're so deep, but really, you're an open book. So whose character is getting the assassination? Tomas? Maribel?" 

"Maria."

"Ah!" Kanon clutched her heart. "Say it isn't so! My precious Maria! The Flowering Rose! The beacon of hope the endless _Casa Leon_ shitstorm!"

"It's so," I said. "She's getting a new love interest. Played by Gabriel Delgado."

"The beer ad guy?" Kanon's eyes sparkled. "Ooooh he's cute. Go, Maria!"

"No, no 'go Maria!' The guy is a talentless hack!"

"Who needs talent when you have the pecs of a greek god?"

"Kanon, you are _not_ helping."

"Sorry." Kanon took a long drag off her lollipop, chewed a peanut, and looked anything but sorry. "I forgot I'm supposed to be sympathetic here. Go on. Tell me more."

"Well, there's not much more to tell," I said. "That's it, really. Maria gets a new love interest, and they hired the worst actor in the world to play him."

"Then typecast him. Make him the sexy dumb beefcake who communicates through monosyllabic words and smoldering stares."

"You really think Maria, who has a PhD, would go for a dumb beefcake who only communicates in small words and smoldering stares?"

" _Sexy_ dumb beefcake. And she _did_ just come out of a coma. Maybe while she was unconscious, she had a change of heart. Maybe intellectual biochemical engineering scientists aren't her type after all." 

"She wasn't in a coma, she suffered a bout of amnesia," I corrected. "Brought on by the shock of discovering her father was actually her uncle."

"So then why wouldn't she run to the arms of a beefy stud? Maybe she likes that he's a man of few words. Maybe it's comforting to have someone that says nothing and expects nothing from her and knows nothing of her sordid past."

I grabbed a handful of peanuts and shoved them in my mouth. I hated to admit it, but Kanon did have a point. A fling could be good. Also, Neil hadn't specified how long Maria's love interest needed to last, so if I could manage to ride out this unfortunate plot flaw by giving Maria the boyfriend equivalent of a sweet, slobbering Doberman...maybe I wouldn't have to quit after all. 

"See? There you go." The bracelet's on Kanon's wrist jangled as she clapped me on the shoulder. "Maria recovers by finding herself a big, dumb hunk of burnin' love. It's relatable! I mean, what girl hasn't gone off the grid and done something ridiculous like that at least once in her life?"

"Probably not one that has a PhD, but that's probably beside the point."

"And this is how I know, without a doubt, that you are 100% gay, my friend." Kanon shook her head and sighed. "You hide it well, but you do not know the first thing about the heart of a woman."

"Nor do I have any desire to find out," I grumped. "At least not any more than I have to in order to write." 

Kanon laughed out loud, throwing back her head and spilling feathers all over the floor. "Oh San," she said. "Don't ever change, okay?"

****

Unfortunately, Neil and the higher ups were much less enthusiastic about my re-writes than Kanon.

"Um..." Neil rubbed his chin as he stared at the script in his hand. "It's not _bad_ or anything, but..."

"But?" 

"But um, pretty much everyone agreed this wasn't the direction they expected you to go in."

I snorted. "They had a direction?"

"Well, no, but..."

"If they had a direction, you should have told me that up front." I couldn't quite suppress the sharp edge that crept into my voice. "Since you didn't, I took the plot in the direction I felt was most compatible with the story."

"San, you have 15 pages here, and all Gabriel says are 'uh huh,' 'sure,' and 'yeah, babe.'"

"And? He has trouble memorizing lines. Now he doesn't have to." 

"San..."

"You know, you are really obsessed with saying my name these days." I folded my hands behind my head and leaned back in my chair. "Are you trying to convince yourself that, if you say it enough, you can click your heels and send me back to Oz?"

"If only," Neil muttered. "In all seriousness, though, I'm starting to think you have a personal issue with this re-write."

" _Starting_ to think?" I raised an eyebrow. "Neil, where have you been for the last 72 hours? I _do_ have an issue with this re-write. Several, actually. It's stupid. It's unnecessary. It's being pushed through by someone who thinks with their hormones, therefore forcing me to create the daytime equivalent of the half-naked, horror movie boob girl, and did I mention it's stupid? Because it is. Bottom line, if you hand me drivel, I'm going to give you back drivel. And you take that straight back to Miss Botox-for-Brains and her latest piece of eye candy. I did my job."

Neil sighed, and raked his hands through his thinning hair. "All right," he said at length. "All right. You've made your point. If we agree to disagree, can we at least compromise on a few things?"

"Like what?"

"Like maybe not calling Gabriel's character Bastardo Primera?"

"Why not? I said we can call him 'Bard' if we need to."

"I know, but I _personally_ would just feel better if we changed it to something a little more...mainstream."

"Ugh, fine." A name was a name and it really wasn't worth arguing over. "Call him Julio. But the Neanderthal speak stays."

"It stays until we see how he does with our lead actress."

"Yolanda? You know she's married to a woman, right? Not really into men?" 

"I'm aware." Neil laced his fingers together on top of the table. "But she's acted opposite many men in this series and made it convincing. Also, they don't call Gabriel Chico Suave for nothing. It's not just his looks, he has this...way about him. It's weird. I can't really explain it." 

"Dear god," I said, with a roll of my eyes. "Not you, too?"

"You'll see what I mean soon enough," Neil said. "Trust me."

"Neil, I don't trust you any further than I can throw you," I deadpanned.

****  
My rewrites went back. There were a few more things I had to compromise on, but nothing that significantly detracted from my efforts to make Gabriel's character, Julio Valdez as he was now known, as one-dimensional as possible. That was until Chico Suave himself sought me out one afternoon about a week into the new episode filming. How he found my office I don't know, but find it he did. And barge in he did as well, just as I was finishing up the draft for a pitch I planned to make for an _El Leon Duerme_ spin-off. 

"Knocking," I said, closing the file. "It's a thing that polite people do. You should try it sometime, Delgado."

"Oh, sorry," Gabriel said. "You're door was open, so I thought..."

"You thought what? You could just invade my personal space without asking? I'm sure that might be the kind of thing you can get away with with a woman, but I'm a guy. And I'm gay. And you're not my type, so get out."

"Whoa, hey. Honest mistake." Gabriel held up his hands. "I just wanted to ask you something. But if this is a bad time..."

"It's a bad time."

"Okay. Can I come back?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Gabriel cocked his head. "...I need an appointment?"

"You're goddamn right you need an appointment! I'm not just any writer buddy, I'm _head_ writer. My time is precious."

"All right, all right, I get it." Despite my abruptness, Gabriel seemed unfazed. "To make an appointment, do I talk to that pretty girl Nina up front? And do you have specific office hours, Professor?"

"I'm here when I'm here, and when I'm not, I'm not. Nina will know. Have a nice day."

"Yeah, you, too."

Gabriel turned to leave. But he stopped when he caught sight of the framed photograph that hung next to my door. 

He looked back. "You cosplay?" he asked.

"What? No! That's my tabletop group."

"What's with the costumes?"

"The group is made up of mostly drag queens. And it was Halloween."

"You tabletop RP with drag queens? No shit." Gabriel seemed impressed. "Where do you go?"

"Madame Butterfly's place. Tuesdays."

"Every Tuesday?"

"Yup."

"Huh." Gabriel smiled, and there _was_ something about it, but I'd be damned if I was going to allow myself to think about that too hard. "Hot damn. I would never have pegged you for the nerdy type, but there you are."

"You're never going to peg me _period_ ," I snapped. "Not that you know what that means. I'm actually surprised you know what cosplay means to be honest. Learn that during your last stint as a booth boy at SDCC?" 

"No, but I did cosplay my 20th level paladin of Kelemvor in 2014. Took second place in the OC costume contest."

"Come again?" 

"Only if you ask nicely."

And just like that, the moment was broken and I was reminded of who exactly was standing in my office.

"All right. Enough of you. Get out. I'm working," I growled. 

"Yeah, Okay. I'll leave." Gabriel waved as he sidled out of the room. "Work hard, Gonzalez. I'll see you soon." 

"It's Gonzalez-Culpepper!" I yelled after him. 

It wasn't until I was headed down to Kanon's place that evening that I realized he'd said 'see you soon' instead of 'see you later.'

And that it was Tuesday.

***

"You're late." The pint-sized queen that greeted me at the back door wasn't really mad, but she put up a good front. "We've been ready to start for fifteen minutes, what the hell took you so long?"

"I have a job," I shot back. "And the hell you've been ready for fifteen minutes. Bethesda Anne hasn't even put her purse down yet."

"Details." The little queen waved her hand dismissively. "We're still ready to go, so get in here!"

"Don't tell me what to do," I grumped, but I did quicken my steps as the little queen, known affectionately as GoGoKu, shut and the door behind me.

To my surprise, the table was set for five instead of our usual four.

"What's all this?" I asked, setting my notebook down. 

"We have a newbie." Ko-Ko Puff, one of the founding members of our guild, gestured to the extra chair. "For some reason, we got a request to join this week. Isn't that crazy?"

"Uh, yeah," I said. "Since we haven't gotten any requests to join _ever_."

"Kanon thinks it might have something to do with the new Star Wars franchise and the overall rise of nerd culture in general," GoGoKu said. "Either way, they heard about us and wanted to come down."

"And the joiner? Are they experienced?" I took my seat to Ko-Ko's right. As Ko-Ko's back up, I always sat to her right. That way, I could easily take over as Game Master should Ko-Ko need to duck out to perform on stage. It didn't happen too often, but every once in a while Kanon grabbed her to fill in. 

"Experienced enough it sounds like," Ko-Ko said. "Which is good enough for me, really. I mean, face it San. We need the fresh blood. We haven't had a noteworthy campaign in months."

"True," I said. "There _are_ only so many times you can wind up lost in the labyrinth before it starts to get old."

"Ugh," Bethesda Anne said. "If that damn sphinx asks me to answer a riddle one more time..."

Laughing, GoGoKu stood up. "I'll pass out the character sheets," she said. 

She grabbed a stack of papers from the empty seat, handing them out to the three of us with flourish. We took our respective characters, and we were all looking them over when we heard the back door open.

We all looked up.

"That must be our newb," Ko-Ko said. "GoGoKu?"

"I'll go get 'em!"

The little queen darted out the door. When she returned, my jaw nearly hit the floor as a very tall, very broad-shouldered, very _familiar_ person walked in dressed in a Voltron tee shirt, carrying a bag of dice. 

"Hey ladies, sorry I'm late," Gabriel said. "I got stuck in the worst traffic jam on Sunset and couldn't seem to get around it."

"Oh, it's okay. We're just getting started." Ko-Ko's eyes took in the newcomer from head to toe. "Have you...you're our newb?"

"Yeah," he said. "My name is Gabriel. I'm San's friend from work."

"Oh!" Ko-Ko looked at me, one perfectly-painted eyebrow arcing inquisitively. "So that's who you are. Kanon told me about you. You called, right? I remember her being surprised because we didn't know San had any friends. At work or otherwise."

"Oh, I'm new," Gabriel said. "Just started last week. And we only just realized we both were gamers quite recently."

Gabriel flashed That Smile my way, and I had to clench my teeth. To call him out now, in a room full of nerdy queens, would make me look like a complete ass. I had no other choice but to play along and invite him into the game.

"Yeah, Gabriel saw our Halloween photo on our office wall and wanted to come check us out," I said. "I...uh...meant to mention that, but I thought he was coming next week."

"Huh, well, looks like you were wrong." Ever amicable, GoGoKu pulled out the extra folding chair for our guest and gestured for him to sit down. "Not that it matters, because hey! We have newbie! Which is awesome! Did you bring any character sheets, Gabriel?"

"I did." Gabriel pulled a manila envelope from under his arm. "Wasn't sure who would fit best so I brought a bunch." 

GoGoKu looked at Ko-Ko. "Game mistress?" she asked.

"Hand 'em over," Ko-Ko said and, once again, I was forced to bite my tongue as Gabriel sat down to my left looking entirely too pleased with himself. 

Ko-Ko took her time sifting through Gabriel's sheets. The minutes ticked by, and the group was starting to get antsy. But then a huge grin broke out over Ko-Ko's face, and she slapped a piece of paper down in triumph.

"This one!" she declared. "The level 13 rogue. San's monk needs a traveling companion. He's perfect."

"But I'm San's traveling companion." GoGoKu frowned hard enough to cause furrows in her make up. "He picked me at the beginning of this campaign!"

"You'll still be his companion," Ko-Ko said. "I'm just adding Gabriel's rogue as extra protection. You know San has a tendency to get himself kidnapped, imprisoned and tortured by demons."

I heard a loud snicker from Gabriel's direction, and I shot him the death glares of all death glares. It was enough to keep him from snickering again, but not enough to take the delighted sparkle of mirth from his eyes. 

"That was _one time_ ," I said. "One time on a bad roll."

"Actually...it was two times," GoGoKu corrected. "That one time with the cave filled with mountain devils, and that other time with the Bull God. Oh and then there was the river dragon that gave you the water that made you throw up, and we thought you'd been poisoned but it was actually..." 

"Enough!" I slammed my palms down on the table, sending papers flying. "It's time to play. We've been sitting around here for half an hour and I'm bored out of my mind. Let's _go_."

"Sannie." Ko-Ko placed her hand over mine and gave me a warning smile. "Don't make me put you in time out for bad behavior again, Sannie."

"I'm not..."

"You are. Get your temper under control."

Silently I fumed even though I knew Ko-Ko was right.

Ko-Ko let go of me when she was sure I wouldn't break anything, and cleared her throat.

"All right, pilgrims. We've made it across the river to the forest, but we all suspect that whatever lies in wait for us here is going to be far worse than what we've already encountered. GoGoKu, roll and see what your warrior sage detects with his celestial golden eyes."

"Okey dokey!" 

Tongue poking out of the side of her mouth, GoGoKu shook her dice out into her hands. She juggled them briefly, then released them onto the table. 

And we were off.

***  
Six hours later, it was 1 a.m. We'd gone through three plates of nachos, four baskets of garlic knots and GoGoKu's weight in beer. Kanon's floor show had run it's course, and now we were the only ones left in the club besides the late-night lingerers who would probably stick around until last call. And, at least speaking for myself, I knew I'd hit my limit.

"All right," I said, pushing back from the table. "As intense as this fight with the spider clan is, I gotta tap out. I have work in the morning."

"Yeah, me, too," Gabriel agreed. "I have to be on set at 8."

"Oh, you work in production?" GoGoKu gathered up the paraphernalia that made it's home at Kanon's and put it back in its designated box. "Or are you on TV?"

"I will be on TV soon," Gabriel said. "My episodes haven't aired yet, but I'm going to be a regular on _El Leon Duerme_."

"Oh, cool!" GoGoKu said excitedly. "Did San write your part?"

"Unfortunately," I muttered under my breath, but GoGoKu didn't hear me because Gabriel kept talking.

"He did," Gabriel said. "I'm a new love interest for Maria."

"Aw, that's awesome!" GoGoKu bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. "Maria is San's favorite character, so you're gonna get to do a lotta stuff. He gives her all the best plot lines." 

"Oh yeah?" Gabriel looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I refused to look back, busying myself instead with making sure I had everything I came with.

"Well, usually he does," GoGoKu amended. "He did put her in a coma recently. Which was kind of rude." 

"I gave her _amnesia_ ," I corrected. "Shock-induced amnesia."

"That, too," GoGoKu said. "Anyway, good luck! You'll have to tell us when your stuff starts to air so we can all watch."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Gabriel and GoGoKu shook hands. "It's been nice meeting you. Thanks for taking me in."

"Thanks for joining! It's been a real long time since we've had anyone new show up. And San almost never invites people."

"There's a reason for that," I said. 

Again, no one heard me over the ambient chatter. Hardly offended, I used that opportunity to check and double check that all my dice were accounted for and no papers had slipped from my notebook. When all was well, I took my leave

"Good game tonight, ladies," I said. "See you next week." 

"'Night, San." Ko-Ko waved to me from where she was chatting with Bethesda Anne. "See you soon." 

"Night, San. See you tomorrow," Gabriel chimed in.

I gave them both a curt nod and left. And I almost managed to make it to my car before Gabriel ran me down.

"Hey!" he called. I tried to ignore him, but he was insistent. "Hey! San! Hold on a sec."

I stopped with my hand on the door handle and turned to look back. "What?" I demanded. "What do you want?"

"Whoa, hey. What's with the attitude?" Gabriel stopped short, still a few steps away. "We just had an epic campaign together and shared nachos. Are you seriously just going to go back to being a pissy grump with me?"

"Just because we successfully shared space long enough to play a fantasy role play game doesn't mean I actually like you," I informed him. "I still think you're overhyped pretty boy who's been brought on to ruin my show."

"Wait, what?" The look on Gabriel's face was one of genuine surprise. "You think I'm going to ruin your show?"

"Yes," I said. "And actually, I don't think, I know. I know because I never wanted you in the first place. Your existence is all the doing of Kandi Bosson. She wants to ride your dick, so she forced my hand and made me write you a part. Trust me, if I had my way, you wouldn't be anywhere near Maria or _El Leon Duerme_."

"Oh." Gabriel's usually bright expression melted off his face like ice cream at Disneyland in June. "Oh, I didn't...I didn't know."

"What do you mean you didn't know? How could you not know?"

"Because Neil told me you were the one who got me hired. He said you requested me." 

"Now why the hell would Neil go and tell you some stupid shit like that?" I asked. "Did you ask him?"

"No, he volunteered."

I snorted as I opened my car door and tossed my RP stuff inside. Part of me was irrationally irritated, and part of me was just as confused as Gabriel. I had made my feelings exceptionally clear to everyone from the start, so why Neil would make something like that up, I couldn't fathom. I would find out, of course, but when I was rested, and not when I was exhausted and full of nachos and arguing with a former beer model in a drag bar's parking lot.

"Y'know, what? Forget I said anything," Gabriel said. He slid his hands in his pockets and took a step back. "I dunno why Neil told something like that when it's obviously not true, and I don't know why I thought to bring it up. I guess I just...never mind. Forget it." 

His words hung in the silence. Against my better judgement, I waited to see if he would say anything else, but instead he just shook his head and turned his back.

"Sorry I crashed your game. I had a good time, though. See you tomorrow?"

"Good night, Delgado. And if you're late tomorrow, don't you dare blame it on me."

****

Gabriel wasn't late. _I_ was late, but that's because I had to send my Coffee Bean order back three times before the barista remembered to put in one shot of caramel and three shots of expresso and not the other way around. No one, however, seemed the slightest bit phased when I dropped by the set fifteen minutes after my promised arrival time to see how things were going. 

"Oh. San!" YaYa, my favorite production assistant, looked up when she saw me. "I thought you weren't coming."

"Coffee crisis," I said, holding up my cup. "Is Neil here?"

"Yeah, he and Kandi are talking to the director. Go ahead over if you want."

"Thanks, YaYa."

I made my way over. Neil waved when he saw me, and Kandi gave me that sickeningly-sweet smile that I hated as I joined them by the director's chair.

"We were just talking about you," Kandi said, and since that never meant anything good, I braced myself.

"What about me?" I asked. "Work-related?"

"Neil was just telling me how accommodating you were regarding my request to insert Gabriel in as a recurring character. And I was telling him how I couldn't wait to thank you personally."

That was a blatant lie and we all knew it. I shot Neil a look out of the corner of my eye, and then pasted on a smile for Kandi's benefit. "It was no problem," I said. "A bit of a challenge, but a writer needs to be challenged every once in a while. Otherwise things get boring." 

"Well, you rose to the occasion beautifully." Kandi patted both my cheeks and gave me an air kiss. "As you always do, Santos. That's why you're my favorite nephew."

She squeezed my cheeks one more time and then let go. At the same time, the PD called for the actors to get on their marks, so Kandi flitted off immediately, wanting to get a front row seat for Gabriel's opening scene.

I stepped closer to Neil. 

"Nice of you to join us, _favorite nephew_ ," Neil murmured. "Took your sweet time."

"Well, you entertained auntie-dearest just fine, so shut your mouth," I growled. "Actually, no. Don't. Explain to me what's with all of Neil's Little White Lies lately. I was happy with this re-write? I _asked_ you to cast Gabriel? You know that's total crap."

"Truth stands even when there is no public support, my friend."

"Don't spout that New Age yoga guru bullshit at me. What's your angle?"

Neil looked over, his expression unreadable. "What makes you think I have an angle?"

"Because this is L.A. LaLa Land. Hollywood. Everybody has an angle, especially when they want something. Or need something."

"Maybe I'm just doing your grumpy ass a favor," Neil said. "Did you ever think of that?"

"I don't need your favors."

"Not professionally, no. But personally..."

Neil's look got more pointed. And suddenly, it was as if all the smog in the city had been vacuumed up by a higher power and I was seeing the sun for the very first time.

"Oh my _God_ ," I hissed. " _You're trying to hook me up with the pool boy._ What the fuck, Neil, he's not even _gay_."

"He's bi," Neil said. "Close enough."

"You are such a pig." It took everything I had not to dump the remaining coffee in my cup on Neil's head. "It's not 'close enough,' you ass. I am into men. _Only_ men. Never mind that dumbass is not my type."

"He might be. Give him a chance." 

"I don't _want_ to give him a chance."

"Then why did you invite him into your gaming group?"

The cup in my hand gave a dangerous crack. "I didn't invite him, he just showed up."

"But you didn't kick him out?"

"It's not up to me. It's not my room, and I'm not in charge. Everyone else was fine with it, so he stayed."

"Hm." There was this terribly annoying smirk on Neil's face. "How did he find out about it?"

"We had a conversation. A short one. He saw the picture on my wall when he dropped by office unannounced and..." Once again, all the smog in L.A. disappeared, leaving everything crystal clear. "Oh my _GOD_. You told him. _You sent him in to see me_."

"Actually, no," Neil said. "I can't take credit for that one. That was your aunt. She noticed he had some patch or sticker or something on the back of the binder where he keeps his script, and she couldn't resist mentioning you were an avid gamer."

"Jesus I hate her," I mumbled.

"Don't hate her," Neil said. "Hearing there was another nerd around made his day. He's not from here, apparently, and he's been kind of a little lost."

"Oh boo hoo hoo," I mocked. "Nobody's from L.A. And nobody makes friends when they move here. He's no different than any other flash-in-the-pan that burns out in under a year, whether he games or not."

"San..." Neil turned to me, suddenly serious in a way I'd never seen. "The kid is lost. And I know from working with you as long as I have that there's no bond like the bond between nerds. So just...cut him a little slack, okay? Be his friend. Or his frenemy. Or something."

"No," I said.

"Yes," Neil said. "Or I go back and tell Kandi that Gabriel and Maria going overboard on their honeymoon cruise and getting stranded on an island is a _great_ idea, and you can't wait to write it."

If Neil was looking for a reaction, he got one. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Are you really willing to find out?"

I grit my teeth. "This is blackmail," I said. "Shady, underhanded, unprofessional blackmail!"

"Invite him out for brunch after the shoot, and I promise you no _Castaway_ meets _The Love Boat_."

"I really hate you," I growled.

"I know," Neil said. "But you'll thank me later."

***  
By the time the shoot ended, brunch was out of the question. But dinner was not, and so I made my way over to where Gabriel was wiping off his make up and chatting with one of the guys from wardrobe.

"Hey," I said. "Chico Suave." 

Gabriel turned. He looked around, then pointed at his chest. "Me?" he asked.

"Yes, you," I said. "Do you see any other overhyped pretty boys around here?"

Gabriel tossed a wet wipe in the trash with a snicker. "Since I'm assuming you don't include yourself in that category, I would say no."

"Oooh, sass." I couldn't help but be a little impressed. "Didn't know you had that in you."

"Yeah, well, you've been so busy being a dick, I'm not surprised you didn't notice."

More sass. It had been a while since someone other than a drag queen had fired back at me, and I was irritated to realize I kind of liked it. Gabriel was still an overhyped pretty boy, but at least he was a witty one.

"Okay, I'm going to be straight with you," I said. "Neil said you're lonely and sad and friendless, and that RPing has kind of been the highlight of your month. So if you want to go get dinner, I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls at Kanon's and we can talk strategy for next week's session."

I expected him to agree right away, but amicable Gabriel was apparently gone, replaced instead with the skeptical sass monster now in front of me.

"And why would I want to do that?" he asked.

"I dunno. But if you don't, I don't care. I was just being nice."

"Nice doesn't suit you." Gabriel shrugged into an oversized grey hoodie and zipped it up. "You should stick to bastard. It's way less smarmy and disturbing."

"And you should have stuck to cleaning pools, but here you are, on my set, mucking it up."

Gabriel folded his arms. "It's not _your_ set," he said. "It's the director's set. You're just the writer."

" _Head_ writer."

"Giving or getting?"

"Both," I said. "They don't call it the casting couch for nothing."

Gabriel stared at me, long and hard. And then he laughed, all stoicism dissolving from his face instantly. 

"All right," he said. "I'll let you take me to dinner. But just so you know, I don't put out on the first date. And I'm not spilling secrets about my previous campaigns either."

"Well you're going to have to tell me something. The spider clan isn't going to wipe out itself. The more I know about what kind of player you are..." 

"The better chance we have, yeah. I know." Gabriel sighed. "I _guess_ I can tell you about the time my rogue fell for the captain of the guard. It was pretty stormy. And sordid."

"How sordid?"

"Deliciously sordid. And tragic. Cap sacrificed himself to a she-demon that was going to swallow rogue's soul." 

"Damn. Seriously?"

"Yeah. No worries, though. He was reborn as a hot female elf that made her way to rogue's bed one night after a particularly testosterone-heavy territory dispute. We'll just say rogue leveled up a few times during that game."

In spite of myself, I grinned. Almost laughed. But one thing at a time.

"My monk got leveled up once," I said. "Not on purpose. You know that river dragon GoGoKu mentioned?"

"Yeah?"

"The water he gave me was from a pregnancy spring."

Unlike me, Gabriel felt no need to hide his emotions. He threw back his head and laughed out loud, causing more than one pair of eyes to shift in our direction.

"Wow," he said. "Wow that's...that's _epic_ , man. Mpreg Monk? Classic. Can I call you Mpreg Monk from now on?"

"Absolutely not."

"How about once we get to be better friends?"

"Still no." 

"It would make a great cosplay..."

"I _said_ no." I turned a glare in Gabriel's direction. "And if you keep asking, I _will_ start having the staff refer to you as Cassanova McNotalent."

"Except for that's not true." Gabriel's smile was a little bit devious. "I was talented enough to fool _you_ , wasn't I?" 

"Excuse me?"

"San." Gabriel looked me directly in the eye. "There is no terrible plotline looming. I made that up. Also, I was born here. My whole family lives here. I have tons of friends, a thriving social life, and a theater degree from UCLA."

I felt like I'd been doused with cold water. "You little fuck," I said incredulously. "You _lied_? To me? On your resume? To everyone?"

"I _acted_ ," Gabriel corrected. "You know, my job? Do you have any idea what a sweet gig this is? This is a dream for a little barrio kid like me. But my cousin is one of the accountant grunts that works on the 14th floor, and he warned me that the Powers that Be could be very...superficial." 

"I am _not_ superficial."

"No, not you. But the others. He told me about you. Said you got in on your hard work and your talent, but that your pretty face and your family connections didn't hurt you any. He also told me about Kandi Bosson. Said she was a woman notorious for her love of pretty boys."

I shook my head, still barely able to grasp what I was hearing. "This is unbelievable," I said. "You scamming con artist..."

" _Actor_ ," Gabriel corrected again. "Actor who shares your love of being a nerd and who is going to bring his A-game to your show. So give me a chance, huh? Please?"

"I don't give chances on an empty stomach," I said. "But after dinner, we'll talk."

"Fair enough," Gabriel said, and held out his hand.

I shook it, and took the first step toward making myself a life-long ally.


End file.
